--“Speak when you are angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” 

We’ve been guilty of this before, I’m sure.  Being in a heated argument with somebody; emotions fly, and words just come out of your mouth that you would never normally say.  Are they any less true though?  Well, sometimes we say things to purposely hurt the other person, simply because we know it will hurt them.  Other times we say things that we’ve had on our minds, but were afraid to say before.  However, being mad gives us a rush of adrenaline and confidence, and it gets blurted out.  Either way, I’m not trying to say that either of them are justified.  If you must say something, it’s best to wait for a calm moment when it won’t come out pompous or condescending.  All too often, we’re too “in the moment” to care about how the other person will feel, because we’re so heated that we will say or do anything to get them more mad.  My advice: Calm down, take a breather, forget about what’s happening or what’s been said, and get back to the topic later when all is less intense.  Now, if I would only follow these rules myself.  A wise woman once told me “just walk away”.

Unfortunately, some of us don’t have this self-restraint in high quantities.  Yes, I’m speaking about myself.  To be honest, I don’t think I was like this before, but that was long before, when I was a naïve kid who just took what people said at face value, and trusted it.  Soon after I left high-school, and into the pseudo-real-world, I started to think a bit more for myself.  As such, I became the way I am now.  I’m sure my friends, and ex-girlfriends can vouch for this.  I’m an argumentative, stubborn, and defensive person when it comes to debating; be it a friendly debate, or a verbal “fight”.  Those three things are a terrible combination, but seem to always come together; if you have one, chances are you have them all.  I’m not trying to use any of these as an excuse to justify things I may have said in the past.  Rather, I’m attempting to understand it a bit more, so that I’ll avoid doing it in the future.

For example, if somebody tries to tell me I’m doing something wrong (no matter what it may be), instead of taking it as a bit of constructive criticism, I automatically take it as an attack directed towards myself.  My instinctive response to this would be to either A) Defend myself and try to prove that I’m not wrong, you are, or B) shoot back with some sort of response denoting that you’re just as wrong as me, but at something else.  Wow…even as I write this down, I’m noticing how utterly lame that is of me.  But, I hope that I don’t stay that way forever…I’d like to think that there’s always room for self-improvement.  Nobody’s perfect, and I’m not asking to be, but here’s to being one step closer to normality.